A Murder, in Nursery Rhymes
by betsybugaboo
Summary: A pall falls over the town of Verseville. A murder has been committed, and the killer is at large.


**I did this as a English project that started as a paragraph with my vocabulary words but had to have the theme of mystery, and it just snowballed from there. I don't own anything mentioned. If anyone wants to use my 'verse, PM me in advance.**

**A Murder, in Nursery Rhymes**

The whispers, like wildfire, spread throughout the small town, bringing a pall over the community. "_'Humpty Dumpty, the poor lad, has been murdered,' I heard! 'Well, I heard that that, shall I say tenacious girl, Mary I believe, saw it all from her garden. _'_Course, ev'rybody in town knows she's a drama queen, so we can't tell if she did see or not.'"_

_oooo_

A clattering, cumbersome cart clanked down the road. Peter, known around town as not only having a separate house made out of a pumpkin for his estranged wife, but as the local police chief, and Jack, known for his pole vaulting prowess in high school and being a headstrong but obnoxious detective, were sitting in the seat. It was overt to anyone that both were perhaps a _little_ too jubilant about the reason for the hurry.

Humpty Dumpty had in fact been reported dead, and considering how small the town was, and ignoring the disproportionate number of boys (and girls!) named Jack, the total population of Verseville was no more than 150 people, which meant there was a rather low crime rate, so it was usually slow down at the station. _(Slow enough that Jack had attempted to burn the station down!)_ "So," Jack said, turning to Chief Peter, "Who do you think did it? My money's on that little thief Tom, personally…" Peter sighed internally.

"Jack, we cannot form opinions before we examine the evidence meticulously. Anyways, we're here." Jack sprung down from the bench. He had a tendency to do that, a deep seated idiosyncrasy that unfortunately tended to drive the Chief nuts. Peter's demeanor changed as he examined the body.

Blood spatter covered most of the surrounding area. The back of Humpty's head was smashed into a gory mess. It appeared he had fallen (or been pushed) off the wall onto the pavement beneath. The chief bowed his head for a moment in respect for the dead.

Humpty had been a quiet kid. As far as he knew, the only dangerous thing he did was sit at the top of the crumbling wall that surrounded the town, a remnant of older ages. He had a rather large head (literally, not metaphorically), but that was probably the only distinguishing feature, and that wasn't too strange for this town. Who would have a reason to kill him?

After taking a dozen or so polaroids, and carefully forming an outline in masking tape of the body, Det. Jack and Peter carefully zipped the corpse into a body bag and loaded into the back of the wagon to take back to the precinct.

_oooo_

"Well, he was certainly murdered." Doctor Foster started. The man was an opinionated old codger, but was the only doctor in town with non-purchased diploma. Sniffing aristocratically, he continued. "The defensive wounds on his wrists prove he struggled. His wallet has been rifled through, but it appears to have everything. I also found some wood splinters in the wounds on the back of his head. Time of death is around 10:00 pm."

Jack nodded. Verseville had no lab, so they would have to go door to door to find objects whose wood matched the splinters. He could already feel blisters.

_oooo_

Peter, chief of police for twenty plus years, was frustrated. Beyond frustrated. He could feel the veneer of polite interest dissolve as he listened to the only witness blathered on and on about _everything_ but the crime. _"Yeah, that little tramp Lucy Locket keeps insisting that I'm the one who stole her wallet, but seriously everyone knows it was that klepto Mary and her stupid pet. I mean, really! I have better things to do with my time than-"_

"Enough! Please, just tell me what you saw last night." "Fine. I was out in my garden listening to music and making sure everything was neat, and I looked up to see Humpty and someone with a broom talking. It looked like he was giving the person his wallet or something. I went back to my gardening, but I looked up before I went inside and saw what looked like doll lying on the ground by the wall. When I got up this morning, I saw-"

Sniffling, she cut herself off. "What time were you out gardening?" Peter asked gently. "Ummm… sometime around 9:45-ish. I work at the gardening shop, in Manga City, which is about twenty minutes from my house so I have to get up at 7:30 in the morning to get there so I'm in bed by ten."

"Can you tell me what the unknown person looked like?" "Um, I think it was a guy, but I couldn't tell. They were wearing dark clothes, and whoever it was, they had a broom. Sorry, that's it." Mary smiled apologetically.

"Thank you for your time" Chief Peter said. Mary made some sound of acknowledgement, but he was already deep in thought. _"The murder weapon must have been the broom. But who in town could have done it?"_

Looking up, he could see Detective John was across the street, a few houses down at Mrs. Hubbard's house. He appeared to be questioning her. _"Does he really believe she could have done it?" _He shook his head, walked over to the detective, and after apologizing profusely to Mrs. Hubbard, yanked John away by his tie.

_oooo_

"Aww, come on! I was just about to get the truth from her!" John whined. "No, you were harassing her. Now, have you talked to anyone with a broom?" "Wha-" "The murder weapon was a broom."

"There was this one guy, uh, I think he said his name was David Doubt. He was sorta shifty, gave me a weird vibe. He said he was in room 4 of the Shoe Motel. No one else, though." "That's our guy. I'll go get a warrant from Judge Griggs, go stake out his room. _Don't let him get away!"_

_oooo_

"_**This is the police! Come out with your hands over your head!"**_

David smiled. This was not a sane smile. This was the smile of a madman. They knew it was him. _He_ knew he had did. Well, somewhere in the back of his head. He was not exactly the sanest right now. He could feel the remaining lucidity abating.

The door slammed to the side as the tall, lean Detective Jack kicked it down. The last thing he heard before the final shreds of sanity left him and he was handcuffed was "_You have the right to remain silent…"_

_oooo_

**Notes/Bibliography**

David Doubt comes from an obscure nursery rhyme I found on

_ bookdirtblog*dot*blogspo*dot*com/2011/10/15-most-d isturbing-nursery-rhymes-youve*dot*html_

The full text is:

_Here come I,_

_Little David Doubt;_

_If you don't give me money,_

_I'll sweep you all out._

_Money I want,_

_And money I crave;_

_If you don't give me money,_

_I'll sweep you all to the grave!_

The various characters come from the version of common nursery rhymes I found in the book _Treasury of Mother Goose Rhymes._ _(Published 1999 by Publications International Ltd. ISBN 0-7853-1727-9)_

Chief Peter is Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater

Detective Jack is the Jack that jumped over a candlestick

Mary is Mary, Mary, quite contrary

The two people she refers to are Lucy Locket from the rhyme Lucy Locket had a pocket etc. and Mary and her little lamb

Mrs. Hubbard is Old Mother Hubbard

Shoe Motel is run by the little old lady who lived in a shoe.

Tom is the piper's son who stole a pig.

Doctor Foster is the Dr. Foster who went to Gloucester.

I made a couple of allusions, also. The tie pulling is from Axis Powers: Hetalia, the mention of girls named Jack is a reference to the Bloody Jack books, and the Chief is paraphrasing Grissom from CSI.

For this short story, I created a universe where all fiction is connected. Verseville is populated by nursery rhyme characters, Manga City is a much larger town populated by manga characters. (It has a sister city, Animopolis, and many characters commute between the two.), etc. I anthropomorphized Humpty Dumpty from an egg to a guy with a large head. It makes it a bit easier to imagine for me.


End file.
